All through my children’s toddlerhood when they couldn’t wait to drink anything with a skull and crossbones on it, I had to call poison control for myself. I had left a solution of Biotene mouthwash in a glass to remind myself to swish my teeth between meals. Well, hours later I come home in need of a drink. You can guess the rest! I called Poison Control.

“How old are you, Ma’am?” the woman answering the phone asked.

“Seventy,” I admitted.

“You’d be surprised how many seniors poison themselves,” she said.

“Live and learn,” I said.

Live, I hope. Yikes.